True Love Starts with You

05 Apr

We grow up thinking that when we fall in love and meet that special someone, that’s where “true love” begins. What a fantasy! As little girls we watch Disney movies where the Princess falls in love with her Prince Charming and it’s happily ever after…. I can tell you it’s all a crock!
There are those of us that are searching desperately for that other half of us to make our lives complete. We are looking for external things to make our lives complete. I can tell you from experience that no person, no amount of money or beauty will ever make our lives complete.
True love starts with you. Being a woman I understand when we grow up and how we’re taught that fantasy of meeting a man (prince charming) and he makes our life a fairy tale. Well, I guess I missed that part of childhood. I was always taught that I should never rely nor expect someone to come along and make me happy. It was up to me to be happy. It was up to me to love myself. My life wouldn’t become complete when I met the “other half”. My life would always be complete and when I met someone then I could offer them my whole heart.
The trouble with the “true love” idea is that we’re taught that it comes from someone else. We have to wait all our lives to find it. We have to search our lives to find it. I’m a simple kind of person. I believe that everything we need in life is usually right in front of us. I believe that the “true love” we seek to find is right here. It always has been and always will be.

I promised that I wouldn’t spend my life disliking myself because of so-called imperfections. I’ve seen too many women and young girls beat themselves up for things they cannot change. They’ve asked me “How do I change this?” “How do I get rid of this?” “How do I lose weight?” I decided something a long time ago… I’m going to take control of things that I CAN control. The rest is up to fate. I cannot change the cellulite on my hips nor the scars on my legs. I’m not going to spend my life chasing some version of myself that’s already pretty awesome. You must keep in mind one thing. Stop looking for “true love”.  Stop looking for someone or something to “complete you”. The only person capable of doing that is YOU. The key to finding true love is learning to love yourself first. I think the sooner you come to this conclusion, the happier you can be. We are so hell bent on finding it. We are so sad when we don’t. We are taught that it’s given to us by another. It’s all nonsense. Our society has put ideas in to our head that as women, our life is not complete until we “have it all”. What does that even mean?

What kind of lies are they feeding us?
Ladies, those of you out there who have spent your life in misery because you can’t find it… the power is ALWAYS yours. I want to encourage you to have a good look in the mirror. The key to your happiness is that person staring back at you. I believe that when you really and truly learn to give yourself love, you can offer it to others.

My advice for today: Stop searching. Stop trying. Stop being miserable. Start with you. The person who is aching the most for true love is you. Why not be the first to give yourself what you’re looking for? Let’s face it… no one else can. True love will ALWAYS start with you. Start loving yourself today 🙂 You deserve it.

Your Life is Your Creation

05 Apr

I’m a simple kind of girl. What I choose has nothing to do with you. What you choose has nothing to do with me. I feel as if we all take things so damn personally. We can’t even say something without being accused of being “politically incorrect”.  Is there really nothing else to do than pay attention to people who say or do dumb things? Everyone has an opinion on someone or something. I feel like a majority of the people care too damn much about what everyone else things. We are an approval seeking culture. That’s fairly obvious to me. There is strange idea that we need to fit in with the norm on order to be accepted. Granted, I’m not saying everyone is that way. I can discern
between what I think and what every one else thinks. I’ve never had that issue. I’m speaking to those who are so easily persuaded by what is popular. I don’t know who decided what is or isn’t in fashion. I certainly don’t need a magazine or social media to tell me what to wear. It’s like this whole wide world is High School. The more popular kids have the look, the style, the money and popularity to sway the “lesser” masses. Not only that, a majority of those people will follow the so called “popular” clique. As if one day, those cool kids will look at you and say, “I accept you, come join us.” We really have become a society of “followers.” If you know anyone with a Twitter account I’m sure you can appreciate my thought.

Why are we so desperate to fit in? Why do we feel the need to sacrifice our self identity to do so? Unfortunately
the media is savvy like this. You’ll notice a lot of their hair and make up commercials are designed to make you feel ugly. They use terminology to manipulate you into thinking that having the latest beauty trend will curb the aging process. They want you to “fit in” to what their version of beauty is. If I’m correct, they want you to avoid having gray hair and wrinkles. I hear “anti-age” a whole lot. I want you to think for yourselves. Please don’t let yourself be told what is or isn’t allowed. “Cool” or “Uncool” is a label you choose for yourself. The sooner you realize those popular kids are just like you, then you’re taking the first step to independent thinking. There is truly no box that you have to fit in to. That is something that is created in the mind. There is no box. There is no mold or shape you have to fit in to.

Your life is your own creation. When you start to live your life according to what everyone else thinks, then you’re truly living inside a box. I’ve always been accused of being “outside the box.” I learned there is no box so who I am is just limitless and boundless. That’s what freedom means.
My advice for today: Always, always follow YOUR heart. No one can tell you what to do. No one can tell you who to be. I hope when you choose a path in life, it is your own. I came up with this saying… “The only path to follow is the one that is yet to be created.”